Bikini Bottom kohage
by EnPixieKnapp
Summary: What will happen when Edward meets Spongebob? read and find out ! :D
1. Chapter 1

_**HEY: D**_

_**Well if u have just as weird humor like we (me and my cousin) u will enjoy this story, otherwise u will just think "what the hell is their problem?" **_

_**We wrote this just for fun ^ (Just so we have made that clear)**_

_**Btw, We don't own Twilight it all belongs to SM** _

(svenska mästerskap :D)

**Our English is not so good, hope u will understand anyway**

**Bikini Bottom**** / Kohage**

It was a sunny day in Forks – which was very unusual. So me and Bella was walking in the sunlight. When Bella suddenly got a very unusual vampire-attack; she jumped up on my back, and bite my neck. "You bit me, so now I'm biting you back! Vampire freak." _Oh shit she's crazy! _She undone my pants and pulled down my shorts. "Bella!" I squeal like a cow. I bend down to pull up my pants at the same time as Bella flew over me and splash down in a slope.

"Eeeedwaaardd", Bella screamed, and she made me so scared that I fell down in a mile-long-puddle of water. _Oh my Bella! _How deep can a puddle be? I'm not a puddle-expert but I think this is unusual deep! My butt hurt when I landed in the soft sand. Where the Esme am I? Have i died of Bella's scream? Was this hell?

Suddenly I saw someone walking towards me, and at the same moment I saw how it was… It was my Bella. "Bella", I cried happily. And smiled my Barbie-smile.

"Bella? You can't possibly have all the tomatoes on the right place…. I'm SpongeBob SquarePants!" said the yellow thing that reminds me of Bella.

"SquarePants? That's a funny last name" and I burst out laughing like a geek. _Oh my Bella I sounded just like that nerd-stalker Mike Newton!_

"that was my great grandfathers last name" said the yellow thing that apparently was named SpongeBob. The thought of a old-guy named SquarePants made my Newton-laugh become even bigger. The thought was interrupted when SpongeBob looked terrified at me. And took his hands and covered his eyes.

"what's wrong Bel.. I mean Bobby?"

"PUTT ON YOUR PANTS YOU NAKED FREAK!" Bobby roar and started to cry.

Embarrassed I pulled up my pink shorts, and added: "my name is not naked freak, its Edward Cullen." Bobby looked skeptical before he burst out in a girly-laugh.

"Edward!? What kind of name is that? Was year are you from 1800?"

"stupid yellow sponge-idiot" I mumbled angrily, and was just about to go when I felt that my throat was dry as a raisin – which was a little strange because I was in a puddle of water. I _need blooooooood!_

"Bobby do you know where I can find blood, in this puddle?" I asked a confused SpongeBob. "puddle? We're not in a puddle Eddie! We're in Bikini Bottom... wait, blood? Whata heck are you gonna have blood to, crazy-pantless-paleface!?" No human-ear could possibly have understand what Bobby just said….Wait, did he just called me Eddie? "handsome are a more suiting nickname, sponge" I said proudly and I threw my hair at the side. Of course was I very happy with my look. _I'm so hooott! _

"Palefaces is not handsome!" The yellow thing said.

"Yellow-sponges are even uglier"

"Not uglier than palefaces"

"Even Jacob Black is prettier than you" I scream to the cocky sponge.

"Edward…?" SpongeBob suddenly whispered kindly.

"yes?"

"Do you want to be my friend?" The sponge smiled at me. _Was he serious? Never ever that I was going to be friend with a sponge. But… He looks like Bella; and I miss my blood-drinking-muffin. _"If you show me were I can find blood." I said reminded of how thirsty I am.

"Sure buddy!"

"So…lets go to the bikini bottom hospital, and get some fish-blood" I suggest.

"We have no hospital here, silly boy" SpongeBob laughed like an old man.

"Well.." I hesitate before I continue: "So what do you have here in Bikini Bottom?" I asked thoughtfully.

"We have Krusty Krab" said Bobby happily.

"Ooh… Is that like a blood bank for sponges or something?" I gave SpongeBob a are-you-completely-out-of-your-mind look.

"No I am not completely out of my mind, Sweet thiiing, and its not a blood bank, its like burger king. Duh!" said SpongeBob and threw his hand at the side like angry bitch girls does on Tv.

SpongeBob was even more like a girl than Bella is!

"Sweet thiiing? Are you possibly a homosexual sponge?" I asked politely.

I do hate this feminine sponge but it reminds me of when the time when everybody thought I was… gay.

The sponge looked at me with big eyes "How.. How did you know?"

"It's a talent I have", I said proudly.

"Are your talent to see homosexual people?", The sponge asked me with an admired look.

' **He's pretty cute even though he's pale ' **

"What? No! I am married sponge-face"

"With a guy?"

"NOOO! With a girl.. eh, Woman!"

"Oh I see, so you are bisexual?"

"No!!"

"Wait. How did you know that I thought you were gay?"

"Um.."

Fuck, I have just exposed my biggest secret!

I start running away until my head crashed into a big hard nose.

"HELL" I swore and put my hands on my sore head.

"I don't care who you are, apologize! Or I will personally send Emmett on you!" I threaten and wave with my fist.

"My name is Squidward, and I would rather have my ass kicked by this Emmett than spend my days with SpongeBob" , The big nose said.

"So you neither like SpongeBob?" I asked and suddenly get the feeling that I and Squidward will get along well.

**Please, came with ideas for the next chapter.. Review :D **


	2. AN

Hello Guys, Thanks for all the reviews! :D

We're going to write next chapter right now actually, so I guess we will update today or tomorrow ^^ thnxx for the ideas **Twichild369 !** pleas come up with more ideas u guys! 

**Obsessionless Blaxie****, **thnx u'r awesome****

**Twilightlicious**yää, Mike Newton in your pants, bro333 :DD You're the best!!

NEXT CHAPTER UP VERY SOON 8D


	3. Chapter 3 My KohaGE

**HEY U GUYS :D **

**whats up? (i just needed to ask i dont want to be non-polite ; D) **

_well I though that maybe i should tell you a wierd story **:D**_

_(**well so here, i'm warning u! U can just read the new chapter now** **;P**)_

_well yeah if u didnt then here i go; we have a puppy named Eddie, and it was raning like yesterday (and i'm talking monsoon here ; D well not really)_

_and my dad just; take in the dog, he's wet... like a sponge!"_

_and i just "SPONGEBOB!!!!" u know really happy **xD**_

_and my so caring father just; i swear i droped her to much when she was younger!"_

_i mean serri isnt he like suppose to love me_ **x'D**

_And thnxx to my loving cousin! Cuz its your story just as much as its mine, so here we go** :D**_

**jää enjoy the chapter :D**

**Chapter 2**

**Bikini Bottom / Kohage**

"_My name is Squidward, and I would rather have my ass kicked by this Emmett than spend my days with SpongeBob" , The big nose said. _

"_So you neither like SpongeBob?" I asked and suddenly get the feeling that I and__Squidward__ will get along well. _

**HERE; CHAPTER 2 MY KOhAGE**

"And what's your name pale-person?" Said big nose and sounded bored.

Hey it's not very polite to sound so… non-polite.

"Edward Cullen" I answered him.

"Ehm… so do you play any instruments?" I asked trying to light up the mood a bit.

His whole face lit up.

"I play the clarinet, and I rock! What about you?"  
just like I thought, we will work out pretty damn fine! We both hate SpongeBob and both of us are amazing musicians!! "Do you want to hear when I play?" Squidward asked.

"Sure" Squidward (Oh, and our names match too :D We're so meant to be), dug up a clarinet out of the sand.

"Do you have your clarinet in the SAND?!" How dare he treat an instrument like that!!

"Yes, I have no pocket…" yeah, he don't have any pants…

Squidward didn't expect an answer, he just started to play on his wierd, sandy clarinet.

Holy cow! It sounded just like someone took the homosexual sponge and tickled him to death. As his false giggling girl laughter filled the room. "STOP IT!" I somebody get rid off that nasty sound!!

I really have to find SpongeBob, and I need to find him now.

I ran away in inhuman speed. I ran in what felt like forever, then I saw a squirrel….in…in a spacesuit?

"Hey, have you seen a yellow sponge… His name is SpongeBob.." I asked polite

'**Ooh his cute-delux…No his sexy-delux!**' the squirrel thought.

Maybe I should get used to that everybody in this puddle thought that I was sexy.

"No I haven't seen SpongeBob today. But if you want to I can show you were he live." She said and took my hand in hers.

I took out my hand, and smiled nicely. '**rude, sexy-man that's just rude' **

"hurm… So what's your name" the squirrel asked with an Texas accent.

"Edward Cullen, and yours?" I asked and smiled a breathtaking smile.

"umm…Sandy."

"Okey, sandy nice to meet you."

"so… Do you want to ditch the sponge and play with me in my kohage? (cow field (?))" Sandy said and winked.

"Urmm… you know what, I think I will find SpongeBob by my self, thanks for your help Sandy." I mean seriously how big can a puddle of water be?

"No, I'm going to help you!" she screamed in her Texas accent. She literally drag me there- in front of a pineapple. "a pineapple?" I asked and eyed her carefully. "yeah, he lives here." She said in a of course tone.

"in a pineapple?" I asked. I didn't wait for her to answer me; I just went to the sponge's door and knocked. I knocked again but no one opened the damn door.

"Pleas, Bobby, open up!"

"ooen your sponge..… Your my only friend in this puddle!" I cried

He opened the door and smiled at me. "I knew that you would change your mind….and you just in a timely Patric is here! We're going shopping!" When the sponge was like that… hyper he reminded me of someone… I can not think of who….

"SHOPPING!!!" SpongeBob said and jumped up and down like a five year old human girl on some sort of drug. And then it hit me like a wet sponge in the face. Alice!

Ooh my Bella, he was a homosexual Alice sponge!

I cant believe I've been in here for so long, that I forgot about my sweet family!

I miss them so much – yes, even Emmett!

"And I haft to buy some new shoes! And pants! And I was thinking that I might haft to buy a pink hat! We're gonna have so much fun!" The sponge sang.

"Sure" I said and smiled a little.

**ey, what do u think? more ideas woud be great :D**


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